As a teenager, this may be embarrassing to admit now, but I used to cry at looking at myself in the mirror. I remember feeling unhappy and thinking why I’m not beautiful.
I Tried to Fit Myself to an Image
I looked at the photos of women in magazines, movies, and television and thought I should mold myself according to them.
I thought if I wasn’t thin enough or fit a certain shape physically, then I was not beautiful.
I Was Insecure About My Weight
I was on the heavy side and teased as a child. I didn’t feel attractive at all and was filled with pain and insecurity.
Even though, my parents didn’t mean it, but their friendly well meaning comments about me being chubby also hit on my confidence.
In College, I Went On Extreme Fitness Mode
In college, I went crazy hitting the treadmills and exercising regularly. I shed oodles of weight and became thinner. I started feeling more confident.
But in my last year of University, when I confessed to my crush that I really liked him and he revealed he had a girlfriend, I was crushed. Later, perhaps we were both young and though I have nothing against him now, but at the time, he had blocked me on Facebook and I could tell by the way his friends chuckled, that his friends knew. I was extremely embarrassed.
It was Not Enough to Feel Beautiful Inside
I realized that it was not enough to feel beautiful outside. I had to feel this inside, too. Slowly but surely, I started putting together the pieces of my self-esteem and working on feeling great inside along with my outside beauty.
What are your thoughts on this post? Please share with me in the comments.