Happy Thanksgiving! In about three days, we’ll all be celebrating this lovely occasion with our loved ones especially if you live in the United States. If you live elsewhere, please do know that I am filled with deep gratitude for you reading my posts and encouraging me in your sweet way for doing the work I am doing.
Your support means the world to me and for this reason, I’m working with a creative transformation coach for the past three months to really dig deep inside and transform my writing and creative transformation business from the inside out so I can offer you more value. So a big, big thank you from my heart to yours!
The pillar I focused on for week three was: Connection. What is connection, you ask? The definition according to the online Merriam-Webster dictionary is: The act of connecting two or more things or the state of being connected.
Connection is what creates that magical spark in relationships and bonds of any kind. Connection is what you feel with your mother or father, siblings, friends, co-workers, and especially with a romantic partner or spouse.
Connection is the glue that makes two people feel wildly intimate. In my humble opinion, connection isn’t just between two people. I strongly believe before you can foster a magical, sparkling connection with someone else, you must cultivate this beautiful, magnetic connection just as much with yourself.
I spent the week diving deep into my body and mind. I tried to feel wildly intimate with myself. My focus of attention practice came in again where I noticed the thoughts coming into my head. I noticed how I didn’t feel worthy or deserving of receiving love from a romantic partner or money or career success. See it’s natural for these thoughts to come in even after you have faced your beliefs and upgraded them.
They will not come as much or sometimes they may come stronger when you have a situation in your life that is clearly asking you to believe in your upgraded beliefs. It’s life and the Universe’s way of testing you. So I did some more journaling around this and cleaned up my energy even more and felt joy at recognizing this.
To cultivate a deeper connection, I practiced receiving my body’s guidance and messages and listening to my body deeply. I did this by indulging in some major self-care. Ideally, I would’ve liked to book a massage, as it was a busy week, I did what I could to the best of my ability. This meant lighting candles, taking off my contact lenses, and lying down on my sofa with my eyes closed and feeling my own energy. After about thirty minutes, I turned on some sexy music that got me in a seductive, romantic and playful mood.
Give close attention to how you feel at all times. I notice how my mood and state of mind changes like the ocean’s waves. I feel reflective and nostalgic to moody and seductive to excited and fun and playful. I love having this range of expression and giving into how you feel is supportive and loving and makes you feel wildly intimate with yourself.
I journaled to these questions: How do you feel when you connect to someone you’re attracted or feel close to? How do you want to feel when you connect to yourself and others intimately?
I said these affirmations daily in front of the mirror by candle light: I’m beautiful the way I am. I am a Sensual Divine Goddess. I connect with people I’m attracted to with beauty, ease, and flow.
I also made time for my partner by cooking dinner for him and indulging in romantic time and talking about our respective desires and needs. I didn’t have time to work out, so I did some light yoga stretches at my apartment. I went shopping at Victoria’s Secret and bought myself a brand new bra and leg stockings.
I’ve been noticing rings I wear on my hands and clothes have been getting looser on my body without working out and I believe it’s because I’ve been nourishing my body the way it desires.
This is a form of self-connection with yourself. If you want to eat a burger, then eat one. When you want to eat vegetables and brown rice, eat that. Eat in moderation yet eat anything your body craves because it’s speaking and whispering to you in its own language and your body will naturally gravitate to the most healthy, natural weight for you.
Now here comes the juicy part. On Sunday, I decided to work with one particular belief I’ve held for some time in my life. A belief that isn’t serving me.
Here is the belief I worked on: High quality men I’m attracted to don’t connect or commit to me easily, healthily, joyfully, beautifully, and with flow and divine masculine energy for marriage and commitment.
I wrote it down and stared at it. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I knew I’ve carried this belief subconsciously and this is why it’s played out in my life, yet to see this on paper was too confronting and emotionally stirring for me. Something moved in me. I had all these suppressed feelings that I hadn’t even realized I had. I sobbed and allowed myself to feel everything.
The realization dawned on me was that I didn’t feel deserving or worthy of receiving commitment and marriage from a high quality man I connected and felt attracted to. I also didn’t show this commitment to myself on every level. It really triggered something deep inside me.
I went even deeper and I did an exercise I had learned from my coach months earlier.
Here is the exercise I did to upgrade my belief and really catch it in my heart and soul and mind:
Name the Circumstance: Not receiving or enjoying deep intimate connection in a marriage or partnership or relationship.
Name the Thought: I’m not worthy or deserving enough for marriage and partnership and deep intimate connection.
Name the Feeling: Sharp pain, hurt, numb, fear, sadness.
Name the Action: I freeze and shut down. I feel deeply not worthy and isolated. I feel over conscious and awkward and embarrassed and “run away” from myself, my feelings, and a man.
Name the Result: Men I’m attracted to don’t connect and commit to me easily and joyfully for marriage and commitment.
After I wrote this down on a piece of paper, I turned off all the lights. I stripped to my bra and panties and even put on my leg stockings. I lit a candle. I cried some more and felt all the emotion chocked up in my throat and chest. I drenched myself in the ocean of feeling. And then I burned the piece of paper. I watched as it all burned and more tears rolled down my cheeks. I breathed deeply.
A part of me burned away. The old part of me that believed this belief that wasn’t serving me in any way and allowing me to experience true, deep wild bliss and intimacy with myself and my partner. It was cathartic and intense.
Then, I sat down and wrote by the candle light my new belief.
Name the Circumstance: Receiving and enjoying deep intimate connection in a marriage or partnership or relationship with a high quality man.
Name the Thought: I AM deeply worthy and deserving for marriage and partnership and deep intimate wild connection.
Name the Feeling: Joy, happiness, deep wild intimacy, warmth, fuzziness, honoring myself.
Name the Action: Engaging, expressive, able to receive divine masculine energy and love and affection. Present with a man. Deep wild connection with myself and a man.
Name the Result: Men I’m attracted to connect and commit to me EASILY and JOYFULLY for marriage and commitment.
Remember awareness is the key here. To truly connect with someone, you must become deeply intimate and connected with yourself, mind, body, and soul. Once you catch the belief and upgrade it, you can create a tremendous shift.
After doing this exercise, I recommend taking it easy and being super gentle and kind to yourself for five to seven days. It’s going to take time to absorb the new belief and your body and soul and heart and mind will feel tired. Like a flower, you’ll start to feel something fresh and new taking seed in you. You’ll begin to blossom in the most beautiful of ways.
The tools and practices I used to embody my intention and focus on pillar 3 Connection:
The Mind (mental intelligence): Affirmations said daily in front of the mirror by candle light: I’m beautiful the way I am. I am a Sensual Divine Goddess. I connect with people I’m attracted to with beauty, ease, and flow.
The Body (instinctual intelligence/body wisdom): Cooking dinner for my partner and indulging in romantic time and talking about our respective desires and needs. Light yoga stretches at my apartment. Shopping at Victoria’s Secret and buying myself a brand new bra and leg stockings. Lighting candles, taking off my contact lenses, and lying down on my sofa with my eyes closed and feeling my own energy.
The Heart (emotional intelligence): Journaling about the questions earlier I mentioned. Writing about my feelings and feeling my feelings completely. Burning the piece of paper that held my old belief.
The Soul (higher self/spirit): Understanding what my higher self wants to lead and teach me. In this week, it was to learn to upgrade my belief to deep self connection and self worth.
Lots of Love,
Image source: Wicked Naughty Diva