Wildly Intimate Sacred Union: Merging my Feminine and Masculine

Sacred Union is the higher state of the divine masculine and divine feminine being merged and united into one.  Sacred Union occurs between two souls and lovers who become one and their divine masculine and divine feminine unite and elevate them into a higher state of love, compassion, romance, and surrender.

Similarly, everyone has a masculine and feminine energy within them.  Yin and yang.  Dark and light.  Light and shadow.  Throughout this exploration, we have focused on connecting to our sensuality, erotic woman, and divine feminine, while at the same time tapping into our masculine energy to take action, drive our soul’s master plan and destiny, and move forward with a gentle trust.

As this is the last pillar and wraps up my Wildly Intimate Deep Self-Inquiry and Exploration, I asked myself these questions and dove deep into my soul and heart to receive the answers my Wildly Intimate Woman wanted me to know.

DO:  What is masculine energy?  How does this masculine energy dance with my feminine energy?  What are the results and outcome of this deep self-inquiry?  How sexy do I become?  How happy and fulfilled do I become?  How comfortable do I become with the uncomfortable?  How do I allow myself to be seen and visible more in the Universe?

How do I welcome more love and abundance into my life?  How creative do I become?  How erotic and sensual do I become?  Who is my Wildly Intimate Woman?  How does she feel?  What does she do?  How does she transform? 

What does my Wildly Intimate Woman want to release, embrace, honor, manifest, and change in the following areas: MONEY, LOVE, SEX/DESIRE, HOME, HEALTH (Spiritual, Emotional, Physical), CREATIVE IDEAS, CAREER/JOB, FAMILY/FRIENDS, SELF-CARE.

Embracing Masculine Energy

I know so much about feminine energy, so I wanted to explore what masculine energy is and how it fits with my feminine energy.  To me, masculine energy is about pure strength and generosity.  About providing support from a place of love and kindness.  It’s being direct and aggressive and yet deeply vulnerable and emotional and sensitive.  This energy is straightforward and decisive.

Divine masculine energy is a leader.  It does what is best for its highest good and yet takes the highest good and interest of others, too.  It is competitive and possessive and magnetic and incredibly sexy.  It is deep, real, honest, and realistic.  Divine masculine energy takes ownership and accepts its flaws and supports the feminine energy.  Thus feminine energy must be open, surrendering, and deeply trusting and receptive.

The Results and Outcome of Becoming More Wildly Intimate

I felt more wildly intimate and connected to my body’s wisdom, soul’s messages, heart’s desires and feelings, and my mind’s belief system and thoughts.  I learned and explored the deep connection between my mind, body, heart, and soul and learned to embody more of who I want and desire to be.

I’ve manifested deep love, peace, abundance (including financial), and joy into my life.  On a deeper level, I’ve begun to truly embody my wildly intimate energy and be Priyanka Yadvendu and be magnetic in my energetic flow.

I feel way sexier.  Some of this as been through outward external actions like buying and wearing lingerie, garter belt, makeup, dresses, perfume that helped me to embody my Wildly Intimate Woman on a physical level.  Yet it’s a deeper feeling than that.  I feel naturally very sexy in my own body now.  Sometimes, I now stare at myself in the mirror and feel exquisitely beautiful.  I feel like an erotic Goddess and revel in my uniqueness.  

I’ve also become comfortable with the uncomfortable.  It feels easier to move out of my comfort zone because I know this is where my true transformation and growth is as a Wildly Intimate Woman.  I’ve leaned into my bold and fierce and sensual and sexy energy.  I’ve accepted my flaws and body the way I am and my fantasies and even my darkness.  I allow myself to be quirky and intriguing and mysterious.

I allow myself to be soft, bold, sexy, vulnerable, and feminine.  I allow myself to be soft and passive, and yet honor my boundaries.  I allowed my book Enchanted Silence to be seen and I reached out to book clubs and finally added the link on my website for viewers and readers to buy my book.  This is something that I had been avoiding for some time because deep down I was scared of putting myself out there.  

I receive masculine energy and support with joy and let men gaze and admire me and hold space for me.  I feel worthy for simply being myself and my deep inner and outer beauty.  In terms of my self-pleasure practice, I’ve also surrendered and given myself permission to fully express myself through all my senses and wildly deep feminine sexuality.

Sharpening My Manifesting Skills By Embodying My Wildly Intimate Woman

Becoming and embodying my Wildly Intimate Woman energy has honed and sharpened my manifesting skills and knowledge.  I’ve appreciated what I have and seen abundance in that.  I’ve become deeply present because in true real rooted presence, fears are not there and joy takes their place.

I’ve manifested the perfect decorations and furniture for my apartment, more money, sexual energy, masculine attention and support, raise at work (yay!), creative ideas for my Wildly Intimate business, the perfect money coach to work with, and even clients who wish to work with me 🙂

Through my journaling, release rituals, and sensuality and self-pleasure practice and rituals, my creativity has blossomed.  Through moments of stillness and space in my life by doing what brings me joy like napping, meditating, cooking, writing, reading, yoga, aimless driving and walking, and being in nature, I receive visions and flashes of creative ideas, books/blogs and resources to tap into for insight and knowledge, all the while feeling guided and supported to let my Wildly Intimate business prosper and bring clients to me who want to work with me.

Who is My Wildly Intimate Woman?

My Wildly Intimate Woman is the woman who merges her divine feminine, sexuality, intuition, and manifesting powers to become wildly intimate with every part of her being (mind, body, heart, and soul).  She is the Queen and Diva and Sensualist who revels in her sexuality, erotic power and magical intuition, and even in her vulnerability.  She has deep strength and honors her boundaries and sovereignty, and yet has compassion for herself and others.

She dresses in feminine, soft dresses and fabrics, and wears kohl on her deep brown eyes that cause them to sparkle like beautiful twinkling diamonds.  Her lips have nude lip gloss and light blush on her cheeks.  Her coffee brown skin is flawless and glowing.  Her flowing curly long hair is let loose falling on her shoulders, other times, it is gently wrapped up in a sexy bun.  

She adorns herself with simple jewelry (earrings, rings, necklace) that make an elegant statement.  She is fiercely sexy and her eye’s gaze is seductive and vulnerable.  She moves her body with grace.  This woman is me.  And I’ve decided to embody more of her energy on a physical, emotional, and mental level every moment.

How does she feel?  Well, she has emotional depth and feels all her emotions deeply and accepts them unapologetically.  She lets the emotions move through her body like the waves of the ocean and bring her messages of inner guidance and sparks of intuition from her soul.  She transforms by making peace with her past and releasing it, so she can bring her focus and full energy and presence in the moment in front of her to feel, be, and do as she desires in the moment in front of her.

She transforms by giving herself the gift of freedom to be wild and intimate and most of all, facilitates her own transformation.  Ultimately, she takes ownership and responsibility for herself and her life and actions.

And lastly, here is what my Wildly Intimate Woman wants to release, embrace, honor, manifest, and change in the following areas:

MONEY:  Let go of her past and old beliefs surrounding money, especially beliefs she’s picked up in her childhood and from family.  She wants to enjoy money and see money as a way to fulfill her desires and facilitate other young women’s transformation.  To also save money in her bank accounts as a form of deep self-love.  Work with a Money Coach to receive more abundance into her life.

LOVE:  To love herself deeply in every moment and allow her man to deeply love and care for her and hold space for her.  To marry her husband in a beautiful and wildly intimate wedding and have a happy, joyful marriage. 

SEX/DESIRE:  To own her sexuality and let herself move on her own pace in her sexual exploration and journey.  Work with the jade egg more and have deep, fulfilling sex.

HOME:  To love and enjoy her place and appreciate where she is living and see it as deep abundance being reflected in her life.

HEALTH (Spiritual, Emotional, Physical):  Emotionally take care of herself.  Allow herself to feel all her emotions and process them, no matter how intense or raw.  Spiritually, connect to her self through the practice of meditation.  Physically, love her body and embrace her inner seductress and take care and heal her foot so she can exercise and wear high heels and be more sexually active.

CREATIVE IDEAS:  Implement her creative ideas.  Allow herself to be seen and fully expressed through her creative visions and Wildly Intimate business.

CAREER/JOB: Fully appreciate her job and her team and managers.  To feel joy even in tasks that she doesn’t necessarily want to do.  To be fully present in her job and create space for her Wildly Intimate business to prosper at the same time. 

FAMILY/FRIENDS: Make time for her friends and family.  Spend time with her family on Sunday’s and be more emotionally intimate with them.  Share her feelings with them.  Allow herself to be vulnerable with her family and friends, and yet at the same time honor her boundaries and space.

SELF-CARE:  Take care of herself on a deep level on a daily basis and not wait until her inner wells aren’t filled up.  To constantly fill her inner well up so she is overflowing with joy and happiness and can manifest magically and embody her Wildly Intimate Woman more deeply.  This means taking relaxing baths, eating healthy (even eating “junk food” sometimes if her body craves it and not judging herself), napping, watching television and movies, reading, hiking, being in nature, exercising, dressing sexily, dancing, journaling, writing, massages, and being present with her family and friends.

Thank you so much for joining me on this Wildly Intimate Deep Self-Inquiry and Exploration.  This officially completes this experience.  I can’t believe how much I’ve enjoyed this journey and exploration and I truly appreciate your support throughout.

Lots of Love,

Priyanka

Image source: www.sonesence.com

This is easily one of my favorite pillars.  I’ve worked on my sexuality a lot last year because I now

Connecting to My Erotic Woman

understand the connection between sexuality with emotional health and financial flow.  It’s part of who I am as a woman and self-expression of my divine feminine energy.  I must confess despite having this realization, I’ve faced resistance on working on this pillar. 

Connecting to my erotic woman meant that I had to be seen.  It meant the vulnerability of visibility.  And I cried about this.  I spent about two weeks to delve deeper on my erotic woman.  On my sexuality.

Focus On the Journey, Not the Destination in Pleasure

I took it upon me to practice self-pleasure in these two weeks.  To not only relieve myself of stress, but to love my body deeply through this practice.

During self-pleasure, I usually focused on my orgasm.  The end result.  What I have discovered is exploring my body and what pleasures my body most.  The process and journey is more fulfilling.  I feel softer and more vulnerable, yet deeply bold, naughty, and sexier.

I felt fulfilled in my self-pleasure practice when I changed my approach.  It felt natural and organic and I actually didn’t think much about how my body looked or felt conscious.  I felt whole and embraced by me.

There are two things I noticed specifically:

1. A daily self-pleasure practice routine is important to my womanhood, radiance, and inner light.

2. Be whole and fulfilled and see my man/partner as whole and fulfilled as well in daily and private life together.

Connecting to My Erotic Woman

I lay on my sofa, closed my eyes, and listened to a sensual track to meditate and visualize my Erotic Woman.  After doing a meditation of my erotic woman, she is the woman who has long, luscious curly hair.  She is the woman who relishes in both her softness and boldness.  She is fierce and yet deeply emotional and sensitive.

Here is the track I listened to in order to let my Erotic Woman come to me:

She wore stockings, garter belt, panties, and a sexy top. All black. At one point, my hair was delicately tied up in a bun. Another time, it was falling loosely on my shoulders. My ears were adorned with sparkly diamond gold-ish earrings.

My coffee brown complexion and glossy pink lips glowed.  My kohl lined eyes sparkled with love, purity, and sensuality.  I felt happy and sexy and yet nervous.  I felt fragile like porcelain glass and exquisitely beautiful.  The energy in my heart and body flowed naturally and openly.  I walked towards the bed and stood there.

I saw a man waiting for me there.  A familiar face.  I allowed him to see me.  To receive my energy.  I accepted and embraced the vulnerability of being visible.  And received his energy.

She was this Queen and Diva.  And then I opened my eyes in shock because that woman is me.  I’ve never given myself permission to be her.  In my daily life, personal relationships, and romance, I’ve never been or saw myself as the Queen and Diva.  Some tears fell.  I asked myself: How would others and my partner/Beloved see me as a Queen if I don’t see myself as one?

I’ve always had the princess vibe where I exude immense softness and innocence.  I come across innocent and playful even though I’m thirty now.  It’s something men find attractive about me I’ve noticed consistently.

But now I want to tap into my queen-like regal sexuality and sensual energy.  I want to express my sovereignty and boundaries and play with my wild naughty, dangerous energy.  Lean out of my good girl image and take sovereignty.

I wrapped up this meditation/visualization exercise by dressing up like my Erotic Woman in my vision.  I drove all the way to Palo Alto to buy a garter belt and came home to make myself pasta and drank white wine.  Afterwards, I dressed up in all black lingerie with my new garter belt included and wore diamond earrings.  Sprayed perfume on myself.  Applied smoky sexy makeup on my face.

I turned off all the lights and lit candles everywhere.  I walked and moved my body like the Queen I was.  I danced.  I cried a lot to be honest.  I’ve never felt this way all my life in regards to my sexuality.

If you’re interested, here is the track I moved my body to that exuded my Diva energy:

I also took two photos of myself.  One where I found myself looking gorgeous and another where I found many flaws in my body and self.  I wrote letters to me in both photos and practiced loving all of me, including my flaws.

Here are the questions I journaled to in this pillar:

DO:  What would I love to explore, but I’m so scared of?  Journal about this.  What is your vision of your erotic woman?  What are the actions in your vision of your erotic woman?  What is she doing and wearing?  How is she feeling?  Embody and activate your Wildly Intimate Erotic Woman.

Take a photo of yourself, preferably one where you look beautiful and one that you don’t feel you look so pretty.  Write a love letter/note to yourself in both photos if you can.  This is about loving yourself deeply at your best and even not at your best.

Embodying and Activating My Inner Queen and Diva

A major learning I gained from this experience was that embodying and activating my Wildly Intimate Erotic Woman meant connecting to my soul and letting all my emotional strength, vulnerability, confidence, and sensuality flow out of me like water.  To be her every moment and exude her in my eyes and body language.  To even dress like her.  To exude my Erotic Woman’s energy moment to moment in my daily life.

I felt so whole and at peace with my body.  I’ve generally not felt comfortable during romantic moments with my partner sometimes because I didn’t fully love my body.  I realized that my body and sexuality is not just a gift for him, but for me, too.

In learning more about myself and exploring my sexuality with myself or my partner, I had to allow myself to be seen and vulnerable.  And even more importantly, I learned that I must lean into him for his love and guidance and allow him to support me in my sexuality.

The tools and practices I used to embody my intention and focus on Pillar 9 Erotic Woman:

The Mind (mental intelligence):  Observing how my mind played out all sorts of thoughts and beliefs about my sexuality.  Feeling resistance and actually noticing every thought with striking clarity and making a conscious decision to replace it with a thought that affirms my new belief of being a Queen and loving myself and my sexuality.

The Body (instinctual intelligence/body wisdom):  Meditating to the musical tracks to visualize and let my Erotic Woman come to me.  I danced and moved my body also and dressed up in the black lingerie and garter belt just like my Queen-like Erotic Woman in my vision.

The Heart (emotional intelligence):  Journaling about the questions earlier I mentioned.  Feeling all the emotions fully that I felt arise in this pillar – happiness, joy, sadness, fear, nervousness.

The Soul (higher self/spirit):  Understanding what my higher self wants to lead and teach me.  This week, I learned that I am a Queen and Diva and it is my duty and soul’s deepest desire to be one and treat myself in this way.  This will reflect in my external world and my relationship with my partner/Beloved.

Lots of Love,

Priyanka

Image source: intimately-sexy.tumblr.com

When you think of romance, you think of romance in a relationship or partnership or dating.  You think of how a man treats you and lavishes you with attention, affection, warmth, and his time is what romance is about.  The flowers, candle lit dinners, vacations together, etc.

Romance is about Loving Yourself Deeply, Intimately, Sexily, and Sensually

Yet romance is more than that.  It definitely encompasses all this, yet more than that.  It’s about being in this state of feeling and embodying it daily in your day to day life.  It’s a way of life and how you treat yourself.

Often, how you romance and love yourself is directly correlated to how you feel and how a man or partner and others treat and feel about you. 

Pillar 7 is all about romance and it’s what I focused on recently.  I literally romanced myself for a week or two and let myself soak in the energy of romance.  Being a Taurean, I’m naturally very romantic.

I showered myself with a lot of attention and warmth.  I got myself my favorite roses, cooked myself delicious meals, played with my humor and lightness of spirit, danced, self-pleasured, slept, relaxed, and more.

I got myself new dresses for the new year and dressed nicely and sexily for no reason really, only to shine in my skin comfortably.  In the mornings, I adorned myself with jewelry.  At home in the evenings, I wore lacy dresses and spent time with myself.  I even walked around naked or with very little clothing on because I really love my body.  I never thought I would say that, yet this is now the truth.

I looked at myself in the mirror and was able to find beauty and sexiness within myself.  It’s not that I found myself perfect.  Rather, that I found perfection in my flaws and imperfections.  I found acceptance.

Romancing myself also allowed me to connect to my inner well of deep abundance and richness.  Yes, richness.  That’s the right word.  I felt rich during this divine process of romancing myself.  By rich, I don’t mean materialistically.  I felt rich like feeling fulfilled and filled up with love and sensuality and pleasure.

I came to the realization that this deep abundance and feeling of richness ultimately reflects in other areas of my life – like money, love, sex, pleasure, career, well-being.

When I completed this pillar, I sat down in my apartment and journaled to the following questions.

DO:  How can you feel more romance starting now?  What can you do to romance yourself beautifully, sexily, and sensually?  How did you feel when you romanced yourself?  Did it bring up a bundle of emotions?  How can you incorporate this into your life more?

Another huge realization I had was that romance is the act of loving myself and someone else deeply, intimately, sensually, and sexily.  It is about creating a luscious, divine atmosphere where I am showered with attention, affection, pleasure, warmth, and time.

The process felt very effortless because I was just being me.  I felt I was filling myself with a deep sea and ocean of love and pleasure and sexual energy.  I found myself lovely, delightful, sexy, hot, and a Goddess 😉

I had this deep feeling of surrender, love excitement, mystery, and intrigue for my own life and self.  It did bring up a bundle of emotions at times and I felt vulnerable because I wasn’t used to treating myself this special and beautifully. 

I have a much greater sense of self-worth now and this pillar was eye-opening because it was now in motion and in practice of being a high value woman.  I smiled for no reason throughout this pillar and truly romance is both simplicity and grand acts and gestures of love and affection.

I made a pact to myself that I can incorporate more romance into my life by doing these romantic, sweet things for myself daily everyday.  I can create and carve out time for my schedule.  Perhaps have a day each week devoted to romancing myself.

The next pillar is Intuition and I’m excited about writing about this for the next post.  For now, have a beautiful week ahead 🙂

The tools and practices I used to embody my intention and focus on Pillar 7 Romance:

The Mind (mental intelligence):  Observing my thoughts and belief system on romancing myself and how much romance I felt worthy and deserving of.  I also reflected on how romance fits into an intimate partnership and relationship.

The Body (instinctual intelligence/body wisdom):  I learned to feel romance and love deep in my body and feeling so wildly intimate with myself that I felt this richness, intrigue, and mystery for my own self and life.  I also slept, napped, self-pleasured, ate joyfully, danced and more.  Romancing myself felt wild, breezy, easy, loving, gentle, and sexy all combined.

The Heart (emotional intelligence):  Journaling about the questions earlier I mentioned.

The Soul (higher self/spirit):  Understanding what my higher self wants to lead and teach me.  This week, I learned romancing oneself is mandatory in order to feel fulfilled and filled up and how it reflects in an intimate partnership and relationship.  I also noticed the connection of romance to receiving and transmitting.

Lots of Love,

Priyanka

Image source: annsliees.com

Confusion filled this week.  For the most part, I knew why I felt confused and reflective.  It was end of the year and I still hadn’t received answers to some of my questions in my life.  There was this other part of me that soothed and showed up for myself big time.  I felt deep surrender and calmness when I made peace with the confusion and unknown.

Receive with grace and ease.

There were things that sudden came at me I hadn’t expected.  My higher self must have known though.  Because how I would have normally responded didn’t occur this time.  I knew I had finally learnt and mastered the golden learning with my response.  I knew that I was beginning to shed and reveal the new Priyanka.

So it is definitely interesting this week has coincided with Pillar 5: RECEIVE.  I love receiving.  It makes me feel sexy, sensual, and powerful.

As a woman, we are natural receivers.  We are constantly receiving attention, love, pleasure, work, emotions, money, etc.  To fulfill your desires, you must open yourself up to receiving your desire. 

How do you receive your desire?  Simple!  We are always manifesting.  Our thoughts ultimately form our actions and create our reality.  Become clear about your desire, clearing blocks, and clean and create energetic space.  Because how would more money, love, abundance, or whatever you desire come when you don’t create space for it.

Besides increasing my ability to receive this week, I noticed EVERYTHING I was receiving.  Like LITERALLY.  Both good and otherwise.  I made a list of it.

Here is my taste of my list:

Sacred Money, Love, Sensuality, Food, Wine, Sexual Energy, Orgasms, Fear, Work, Nervousness, Tenderness, Support, Kindness, Compassion, Dreams, Physical Exercise, Hunger, Tiredness, Anger, Peace, Jealousy, Ego, Sensitivity, Touch, Alluring Music, Attention, Vulnerability, Family, Self-Respect, Health, Heat, Space, Conversations, Coldness, Lingerie, Softness, Sadness, Confusion Pleasure, Happiness, Memories, Compliments, Desire.

At the end of the week, when I read my list, I was happy that I had turned up the volume on receiving money, compliments, pleasure, and love had greatly increased.  I also noticed that I didn’t receive relaxation so easily and instead drew in work more easily.  It’s as if I felt guilty when I wasn’t busy or working.

This is something that I want to work on.  I want to feel my money and all channels and sources of both expected and unexpected income to flow to me more easily and gracefully with a balance of effort and energy from me.

I also picked a specific belief I have around receiving and work on releasing this belief.  This can be anything from I want to receive love with ease to I receive large of sums of money happily.

The current theme running in my life is marriage and partnership.  It is something I deeply, deeply desire in my life.  I desire to share my life with my partner from a place of truth, love, and abundance.  I can feel that though the inner depths of my body tells me this is the next phase of my life, there are some blocks around receiving marriage and this is why it hasn’t happened yet.  

Being guided by my higher self, I tore a sheet of paper from my journal and lit a candle.  (I love lighting candles when journaling and playing music that suits my mood at the time)

I made a ritual of this.  I wrote on the paper with the beautiful, luminous candle light flowing onto my skin and paper:  I receive my husband and our marriage with grace, ease, love, and happiness.  I wrote this in the present tense because I want my subconscious mind to accept this seed of desire and realize in its own divine way.

*Quick note: don’t write your desires or affirmations in the future tense because otherwise they will stay in the future tense.  ALWAYS write and speak them in the present tense.*

I also wrote that I release all and everything to create space for my husband and marriage.  I close my eyes and let the words sink into my body.  An electric feeling pulsed through my body.  Some sensations and images dropped into my mind.  I couldn’t make them exactly, but I felt the sensations fully.

I opened my eyes and burned the paper using my candle and watch the paper fade away.  There was something intensely alluring, sexy, and beautiful about this ritual.  I then journaled to this afterwards:

DO: How does it make you feel when you receive a compliment, pleasure, money, etc.?  How can you make receiving an easier process that flows with grace and ease?

I wrote for some time and one of the main sentences that stood out to me was: Get out of my own way.

The tools and practices I used to embody my intention and focus on Pillar 5 Receive:

The Mind (mental intelligence):  Observing my thoughts and beliefs around receiving all that I received this week and around receiving marriage.  I realized that I need to have a more positive view of marriage and relationships and believe that it’s possible to have a happy, fulfilling marriage by first having a happy, fulfilling relationship with myself.

The Body (instinctual intelligence/body wisdom):  Truthfully, I didn’t do much body work in this pillar.  I largely napped a lot and ensured I nourished my body with healthy foods and ate on time and slept on time.  I took hot showers because they have a calming, healing effect on me.

The Heart (emotional intelligence):  Journaling about the questions earlier I mentioned and also making the list of all that I was receiving, including EVERYTHING, both good and otherwise.  Writing my belief around receiving specifically on receiving my husband and marriage and burning the paper as a beautiful, divine ritual.

The Soul (higher self/spirit):  Understanding what my higher self wants to lead and teach me.  In this week, it was that my higher self wanted to lead me to the next phase of my life by guiding me how to receive my husband and marriage with ease and grace and flow.

Lots of Love,

Priyanka

Image source: foursquare.com