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Priyanka Yadvendu

Answers to Joy, Intimacy, Security, Family & Romantic Relationships for 20-Something Women

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My Sexual Work is Supporting Me to Create Passive Income Streams to Embrace Marriage & Motherhood

July 10, 2018 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

Dear Reader,

In all my posts I speak about navigating my sexual transformation journey.  Something else this journey has created is my creativity is blossoming greatly.  I feel ideas and visions float into my mind when I’m sleeping, showering, bathing, or being still.  I am learning to cultivate my sexual energy and not release it immediately and let it stay in my body so I can relish it and nourish it and hold space for this life force sexual energy in my body.

Creative Passive Income Through My Sexual Work

Creative Passive Income Through My Sexual Work

When I hold the energy, my womanhood blossoms and my feminine energy becomes stronger.  I become like a magnet who can draw to her what she desires with much, much, much, much more ease and flow.  Rather than hustling or “working hard” for what I desire, I do the energetic work first and then take the right actions and allow it to flow to me the way the river flows naturally and abundantly.  Life is much easier when I flow.

In this way, my creative energy flows the way my sexual energy flows 🙂  I am seeing how money and sex are connected and since my self-worth is increasing, I also feel more worthy to receive money in healthy, loving, and easeful ways.  I am working on creating passive income streams by creating a digital course based on my workshop that was successful last year.

I am in the creation stage of this digital course and I am putting all my love, sensuality, and energy into this course.  It is exciting and I feel filled with joy and happiness when I work on my digital course.  I feel that my creative gifts are worth receiving money for and the money I receive from this digital course I shall save for my future.

I am giving myself the beautiful gift of freedom, space, and joy by creating passive income streams.  I have an idea for a book I’d like to write, though that will be next year.  There is no rush 🙂  Everything unfolds in its own time naturally and magically.  I am willing to trust the divine timing. 

I am also doing this to prepare for the next phase of my life which is a life with my Beloved.  Our beautiful life together where marriage and children occur and I’d like to focus on him so he can show up fully for his desires and dreams and be the leader in our relationship and life together.

With Love,

Priyanka

 

Image source:  Learn to Dance

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Filed Under: Desire, Ramblings, Transformation

I am A Very Passionate & Seductive Woman Underneath my Reserved and Guarded Facade

June 27, 2018 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

Dear Reader,

It is difficult to open my heart.  Because I don’t trust anyone easily.  I feel guarded and reserved.  I know what I have to offer to a masculine man. 

I Desire to Open My Wild Heart and Body to the Right Masculine Man

I Desire to Open My Wild Heart and Body to the Right Masculine Man

My definition of a masculine man is not just someone physically masculine and assertive, it also includes a man in touch with his softness, vulnerability, and emotions.  To me, this is a real man.  A man who takes ownership and responsibility for his actions and decisions and especially mistakes and can see someone else’s point of view in addition to his.

A real man is someone who doesn’t rely on manipulation and games to achieve his aims because when he is truly connected to his manhood deeply, there is no need.  Everything speaks for itself.  His actions speak for itself.  A man with the highest level of standards, integrity, and character for himself and the woman he chooses to be with.

I have so much to offer to my sexy, loving Beloved.  I don’t jump into anything impulsively, especially a relationship.  I like to take my sweet time and if he is the right man for me, then he shall wait for me 🙂  I have that much confidence in myself and I believe the courtship and seduction must happen elegantly and slowly so the process is filled with deep pleasure, sensuality, and joy.  Something precious is always worth waiting for, yes? 😉

I am becoming my truth and embodying the divine feminine so I can set us both free in our divine sensual encounters.  There is fire inside me.  All it takes is one touch and one look to set my body on fire.  But I keep that fire reserved for only the man who is worthy of it.  Until he does not prove to me he is a true man in every sense, I will cultivate my sensual fire deep in my body and keep it warm and burning.  Once the flood gates of my heart and body open, it is because you will have deserved it and are worthy of my sexual energy, love, affection, and attention.  You will have touched the deepest corners of my soul.

I have spent the time honoring what could have been and processing my shame around my sexuality.  Now I am ready to learn the intricacies of seduction and my sexuality.  I am exploring what touch feels good on my body and the gaze of the eyes and the movement of the body all plays a unified role in seduction.  I am now ready to express my my sexuality.  Express my wild woman.  I want to express who I am deep inside that I’ve kept hidden since childhood.  I know I am a Sex and Sensual Goddess since childhood because this is my portal to connect to the Universe and the Divine.

My walls…my guarded and reserved nature is to test you.  To see how far you can rise to become the man you are meant to be.  To become your highest form.  It is to see how far you are willing to reach deep inside your soul to reflect true manhood, character, and courage.  To face your wounds and weaknesses with bravery.  Because I won’t settle for anything else.  

I desire to open my heart and body to the right masculine man and I’m preparing to become a sensual Goddess to surrender to you.  Because when that time comes, I will be prepared.  I will know it is right.  I will know that I am ready.  When I open my heart, I open everything to you.  My bliss, pain, wildness, rage, joy, love…everything.

Lots of Love,

Priyanka Yadvendu

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Filed Under: Desire, Ramblings, Transformation

I Feel My Orgasmic Surrender Intensely and My Self-Worth Increasing

May 31, 2018 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

I feel waves of orgasmic pleasure wash over me.  Every moment.  Every day of my life.  I feel my sexual energy deeply in my body and especially in my pelvic area.  I didn’t realize how doing this sexual work would deeply transform me. 

As I move through my days, I feel pleasure when I eat a piece of chocolate.  When the wind brushes against my skin.  When I dance and move my body to a sensual song.  When I touch and feel a pretty rose.  When I touch myself in my sacred erotic pelvic area.  When an aha moments arrives in my mind.  When ideas of creativity flow into my body and soul.

I am aware of every sensation in my body and of my orgasm.  I feel orgasmic doing all these simple things in my day to day life.  I feel I am a walking ball of orgasmic pleasure as I move through like an erotic Goddess through my days.  I feel right at home and yet this feeling feels so foreign.  I feel free.  I feel I’m being myself.

My sexuality work is increasing my self-worth.

My sexuality work is increasing my self-worth.

I’ve been afraid of my own erotic power.  I know I’m a deeply sexual woman since childhood and then experienced waves of pleasure with my first boyfriend.  I remember feeling like a woman.  But over time, I gave all my sexual power to him.  I viewed myself only from a man’s erotic gaze.  Working on myself sexually has given the power back to myself.  I feel so much in my body.

When I self-pleasure, it’s the most beautiful feeling in the whole Universe.  Sometimes, I explode with intense dangerous pleasure.  Other times, I reach my orgasm in a subtle, slow way.  What comes through my touch is love.  Lots of love.  For myself.  Deep, satisfying, compassionate, sensual love for myself.  When I go to the office, I walk with a sway in my hips.  I walk like I own the ground I’m walking.  I feel powerful.  I feel like a woman.  I have emotional and sexual strength.

And at the same time, I embrace my vulnerability.  There have been times in my self-pleasure sessions that I have literally cried throughout the time.  I cry because I feel happy.  I cry because I feel sad and a longing inside and it all comes out in the pleasuring.  It is healing.  Therapeutic.  Transformative.

Reading this article may make you want to do the work around your sexuality and become a woman.  It may make you feel you want to feel all this amazing feelings.  The truth is it takes time.  And there are a lot of tears and sweat.  It depends on how much baggage you have.  It depends on how deep you are willing to go.  In my case, I’ve had layers and layers which I’m peeling away.

The most beautiful result of all this deep work?  My self-worth is increasing greatly.  I stand up for myself.  I stand up for my desires and dreams.  I feel I am worthy of a beautiful courtship and a loving relationship with a masculine man.  I feel that I am worthy of joyful financial abundance.  I deserve to life my life on my own terms.  That I matter.  My desires matter.  My dreams matter.  My body matters.  My mind matters.  My soul and heart matter.  I matter.

With Love,

Priyanka Yadvendu

 

Image source:  Always A Gentleman…Never A Saint

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Filed Under: Desire, Ramblings, Transformation

The Truth is I’m Struggling….and Having a Sexual Awakening

March 31, 2018 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

Dear Reader,

My life has been pretty good.  Everything felt like it was falling into place.  I started to feel happy again.  Then, I started working on my sexuality.  I started to focus on feeling my body.  Every part of my body.  From my arms, legs, knees, eyes, lips, breasts, thighs, pussy, hands.  Everything.  And then I fell apart.  Emotions coming to me that I didn’t know existed.  I couldn’t feel myself.  I don’t recognize what’s happening to me.

Surrendering to my Wild Feminine and Sexuality

Surrendering to my Wild Feminine and Sexuality

It feels like depression symptoms and the dark night of the soul I went through three years ago.  But this is different.  This is being triggered by the work I’m doing on my sexuality.  I’ve had outbursts and am crying throughout the day and most nights.  I feel I’m transforming and it’s all unfolding for my highest good, but it feels incredibly uncomfortable.  The pain I feel seems so real and at other times, like an illusion.  I knew this work would unearth something deep within me.  But in this way, I never imagined.  It has also created changes in my personal life that are confusing me.

Every moment seems to be a battle with myself.  I don’t understanding what’s occurring with me.  My soul and deep subconscious whispers to me that I’m transforming into a beautiful, erotic, sensual woman who is able to express her wildly deep feminine sexuality with ease.  I’m not quite there yet.  I’m not this woman yet.  She’s in the making.  It’s in process.  There isn’t any destination to reach.  Because the destination is me.  I am already her.  That wild, fiery intuitive sensual woman.  But I don’t see her yet.  Only parts of her.  Like a diamond, I’m polishing her until she is ready to bloom and show herself in the world.

I’m in self-imposed hibernation and seclusion.  I don’t feel like going to work or communicating much with my friends or interacting with the world in general.  I’m trying my best to keep on a happy face and meet as minimal social commitments as possible.  I do feel bored and upset with my self-imposed hibernation, but it is what is best for me currently.  I take it day by day and let the moment guide me every day.

I can feel with every fiber of my being that I’m going through a deep sexual awakening.  It is exciting and scary at the same time.  I feel I’m getting ready to be with my Beloved.  I remember writing in my journal about being able to freely express and share my sexuality with him.  The Universe has heard my desire and now I must be committed to realizing this desire.

I hope that my nearest and dearest people in my life to whom I’m not able to give much of my attention, love, affection, and energy forgive me and understand that for someone so intensely emotional and sensitive, this sexual awakening is intense and the only way I can go through it and emerge more beautiful and stronger is by feeling everything and making sense of this time in my life.  For a shy, reserved, introverted person like me, I’m not able to have too much people interaction at this time and need to be in my cocoon.

How am I handing this sexual awakening on a day-to-day basis?  That’s a great question.  Some days are easier than others.  I wake up with this strange, pulsing feeling in the pits of my stomach and chest and pussy areas of my body.  The week days are easier because I have work to keep me busy.  When I come home, I focus on consciously eating food and taking care of my body like exercising and going to the gym.

I also am working with a Sex Coach for the next six months who is supporting me during this time.  I also am taking Jaiya’s Erotic Blueprint Breakthrough Course Program and commit to doing the homework every night.  (Apparently my sexuality styles are Sensual and Kinky) I write in my journal making sense of my sexuality and my awakening in it.  I document how I feel.

Sometimes, doing this deep inner work on my sexuality though very powerful can also be too much.  I try to lighten myself by watching television with my family and going for social events and gathering (though not often), and watch funny comedy shows and Netflix to lighten my mood and laugh.

Writing this entry has been liberating for me.  And as I’ve always said, I endeavor to be as transparent as possible, in the hope that this supports you and touches you as deeply as I’m being touched right now.

Lots of Love,

Priyanka Yadvendu

 

Image source:  YouTube

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Filed Under: Desire, Ramblings, Transformation

Reflections from 2017: Fresh Starts and Year Filled with Richness and Beauty

January 21, 2018 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

2016 was all about letting go of people and situations that didn’t serve me.  It felt like a push and pull year.  It was an emotionally intense year where I nearly cried myself to sleep every day.  I’m proud that I was committed to trusting the process and surrendering last year because now I know why it happened.  2017 was a completely different year.  A fast, active, social year filled with new beginnings and light in my life. 

2018: A Magical Year Filled with Romance and Love

2018: A Magical Year Filled with Romance and Love

A fresh chapter has arrived and the pages are turning.  Since I am knowledgeable about astrology and numerology, I knew 2016 was year 9 of my 9-year cycle.  It made sense because that year was about completion and endings.  Whereas 2017 was about fresh starts and beginnings.  2017 was year 1 of my brand new 9-year cycle.

Because I knew this, I knew the beautiful, sunny energy of Year 1 would support me in anything I wanted to do and initiate this year.  I consciously used this magnificent, bountiful energy to transform the two areas of my life that needed the most transformation: MONEY and ROMANTIC LOVE.  

Falling in Love with My Money…

I spent the first six months of this year working with a Money Coach deeply unraveling my beliefs and patterns surrounding money and understanding with confronting clarity the emotional reasons on why and how I handled my money the way I did.  Why I made the decisions I did.  I learned how I didn’t love myself very much and gave my power away to others.  Slowly, piece by piece, I gave the power back to myself. I worked on clearing my credit card and started to put a portion of my earnings into savings every month.  I realized that taking care of money and my finances is just as important and part of self-care as baths, massages, etc. and an act of deep self-love.

For the FIRST time in my life, an emotional energy and deep love powered my financial decisions.  I knew why I spent a certain amount every month and why I saved every month.  In fact, I renamed my bank account savings to: My Wedding + Self-Love.  Because this is exactly why I’m saving money.  For myself.  For my wedding.  For me.  To show love to myself.

Saving Money is a deep act of self love and taking care of myself.  By the end of 2017, I am really proud that I have completed paid off my credit card.  The past 2.5 years I thought of my credit card every moment.  Now I feel this beautiful sense of relief and pride.  And abundance.  And I also have a financially abundant bank account and never have I before had such a healthy, loving relationship with money.

I deliberately chose to work on the money part of my life first because sexual energy intertwines and bonds romantic love and money.  In other words, the seductive sexual energy creates life and magnetizes the flow of money.  By working on my money stuff, I knew I was working on my sexual energy and romantic love life at the same time.  I noticed how my sexual appeal and magnetism as a woman greatly increased as I did deep inner work on my money.

Romantic Love Experiences

Around March this year, I had an experience with a man which turned out to be deeply emotional, sensitive, and intense.  I don’t want to go into detail, however I will say the meeting wasn’t pleasant and it reaffirmed the deeply embedded subconscious beliefs I held of myself that I am not worthy of true love and that a man won’t stand up for me and want to be in a loving, committed relationship with me.  It has taken months for me to process this experience.  It was a deeply painful experience.  Everything that I felt about myself reflected to me through him.  And I must have been a mirror for himself as well.  I knew I had deeper inner work to do surrounding love.

This experience transformed me in ways I cannot explain still.  I read many books and blogs on romantic love across all topics – sex, commitment, communication, dating, self-worth.  Basically, I learned how to have a relationship and be in a relationship.  Something we all assume will just come naturally to us when we meet the right person or start dating.  We assume that there isn’t anything to learn about relationships because well, it’s not like math or science or English in school.

And I didn’t just read…I did the inner work.  I dove deep into my soul and searched for answers and more importantly, the right questions.  Because all my life I thought being in the perfect, loving relationship was a dream and would fall into my lap only if I was lucky and fortunate.  I wish someone told me that I am responsible and a creator of this relationship.  By first creating a loving, committed relationship with myself and accepting and embracing who I am completely as a person and my flaws and my self-worth.

I’ve heard this so many times and understood it on a mental and intellectual level, though to put this in action.  To do the inner work and take the actions to love myself and create the relationship of my dreams.  That was something else!  It meant facing my own shadows and darkness.  And it was scary and chaotic and a beautiful mess.  And completely worth it.  So after my money work, I continued working with my first coach whom I had worked with much earlier and went deeper in the realm of love, sex, and desire.  I showed up for myself and this work.

Around July last year, I also moved home and this also proved to be the right decision for me.  I was able to save more money faster and since my family lives in a more relaxed town with a slower pace of life than the rest of chaotic Silicon Valley, I was able to seek true joy and pleasure in my life and make time for my family and friends and most of all, my self and my desires.

I created a new in person workshop that integrated everything I learned about Money and Romantic Love and called it Invite & Receive Romantic Love & Money.  I facilitate this workshop at a gorgeous hotel and it is such a pleasure for me to support the women in their romantic love and money areas of their lives.

I ran this workshop twice and the participants had beautiful words and praise for it which made my heart filled with deep love and gratitude.  There was several requests to run the workshop again during the Holiday season, however I decided to focus on slowing down in November and December and enjoying the Holidays.  The Holidays bring up mixed emotions in me, though overall I enjoyed myself during the Holidays.

Moving Forward in 2018 and My Vision

I’ve taken time into January to write this post because I wanted to gently enter the new year.  I wanted to be present every moment of the Holiday season.  Now that I’ve had time to process 2017, I’ve felt into how I want 2018 to unfold.  I let my guide words for this year come to me.  And here they are….ROMANTIC, EROTIC, MAGICAL, SEDUCTIVE, EASEFUL

I want the focus to be entirely on my personal romantic love life and going deeper in my sexuality this year.  I really want to experience romance as I’m a Taurean woman and we love romance and sweetness 🙂  I continued with the word Magical because I want this year to be even more magical than 2017.  2017 was indeed very magical and I want to continue on this same path this year.  Erotic and seductive is how I desire to feel in my sexuality and with a man.

And I also continued the usage of the world Easeful because I want everything in my life to unfold with gentle, feminine ease.  I don’t want to  push and strive to fulfill my desires.  I’ll listen to my intuition and soul’s guidance and then take inspired action.  It’ll be a beautiful dance between doing and stillness.  I want to enjoy the journey of receiving my desires and seeing them become fulfilled.

I am going to continue to work on my money and I want it to feel easy receiving large sums of money and earning money in creative, fun, and healthy ways.  I intend to deepen my now healthy, thriving relationship with money.  I want to feel richness with my money.  The action steps I’ll take is to complete the Modern Retirement Planning workshop, save more money each month, and earn money easily and creatively through my Invite and Receive Romantic Love & Money workshops.

I also know that 2018 is Year 2 of my 9-year cycle which means this year is going to be tremendously different from the past three years that were intense and filled with transformation.  Year 2 is a very emotional, slow-paced, and gentle year yet filled with intensity and sensitivity.  This is the year for me to become intimate with my Beloved and form a deep bond with him.  This also means it’s not a year meant for action or initiating huge projects.  It’s more of a go with the flow year and focus on building a strong inner foundation which will create a strong external foundation.

There will be moments of intensity and I’ll feel sensitive and I’ll have to be patient with myself and other people in my life and take time to connect with my inner stillness.  Keeping this in mind, I feel it’s the perfect year to focus on my health and body.  I’m working with a body coach to feel deep love for my body and feel peace with my relationship with food.  It’s working wonders because I don’t have a love-hate relationship with food anymore.  I approach food from a place of love and practice intuitive eating.  I’ve also starting taking dance classes and working out at the gym.  Instead of going crazy on my exercise routine and pushing myself, I work out in a gentle, loving way that honors my body.

I also do feel the desire to connect with something more than myself.  With God.  With the Universe.  Whatever name you decide to call it, for me, it’s God and the Universe.  I am feeling an intensity to visit Churches, Temples, and other places of worship.  I’m not even sure why.  I do know that I feel the calling and hence I’ll honor it.  Perhaps this is my way to feel calm and centered and peaceful this year as I understand my soul’s plans and learnings.

And most of all, this year is devoted to exploring my beautiful, sublime, erotic, and seductive sexuality.  Embracing all the soft and fiery elements of my sexuality and womanhood.  I intend to feel satisfied, happy, orgasmic, and feminine in love and expressing my wildly deep feminine sexuality with myself and my Beloved.  I want to feel affection and loved and stable and supported.  I’m currently speaking with several sex coaches and determining who will be the right fit for me.  And once I do, I’ll commit to my sexuality by working with my sex coach.  I’ve also started reading several books on sexuality and sex and have an ongoing jade egg practice.  I intend to be committed in a long-term, loving relationship with my Beloved this year and committed to my own happiness and peace of mind.

I hope you have a beautiful, magical, easeful 2018 filled with happiness and do the things and have experiences that bring you joy and surround yourself with people who bring out your best.

Lots of Love,

Priyanka Yadvendu

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Filed Under: Life Lessons, Ramblings, Transformation

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Priyanka Yadvendu makes her home in the San Francisco Bay Area and enjoys running, volunteering, and drinking chocolate martinis. Read More…

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