I just came back from a walk around my apartment complex. I let the sun shine on my face and crisp air lightly tickle my face. I let the air fill my lungs. I let myself breathe.
I felt beautiful to enjoy these simple things. Things that I easily forget in my day to day life when I’m thinking about my rent or social commitments or family obligations. The list can go on and on.
Reflecting on the Year
I spent some time thinking about this year. I remember starting the year completing my novel Enchanted Silence. And then, I started working on my query letter and sending my finished manuscript to about thirty agents. I felt proud of myself. But after the feeling of pride went away, I was filled with nervousness.
I had no idea what was going to happen next. Eventually, I did sign with a literary agent and I did a victory dance around my apartment!
But I can’t help, but think how I spent a huge chunk of this year not knowing what was going to happen. And now again, I have been flung into the throngs of the unknown. I have no idea what kind of publishing deal I’ll receive or when I will receive it. I have no idea what turns my life will take. My family wants to take some important decisions next year. I have no idea when marriage is on the cards. I have no idea when I’ll buy my first house.
I have this strong feeling that some major events are about to take place in my life. I feel my life is going to change for the better.
I feel my divine destiny is going to reveal itself to me. But I have no idea how or why. And it frazzles me. I’m such a planner and doer that it’s not easy for me to let go.
Let Whatever is Happening Happen
I have given myself permission to let go of people and things in order to let the greater enter my life. It’s not been easy and the fear felt larger in my mind than in reality. But despite my fears and habit of clinging to people and things, I surrendered to what life offered me at the present moment.
And ironically, by doing this, I am finding so much beauty in the unknown. I don’t need to know the details. I trust that everything is turning out perfectly in sync with my divine destiny.
What is your biggest take away from this post? Please share with me in the comments.