I feel waves of orgasmic pleasure wash over me. Every moment. Every day of my life. I feel my sexual energy deeply in my body and especially in my pelvic area. I didn’t realize how doing this sexual work would deeply transform me.
As I move through my days, I feel pleasure when I eat a piece of chocolate. When the wind brushes against my skin. When I dance and move my body to a sensual song. When I touch and feel a pretty rose. When I touch myself in my sacred erotic pelvic area. When an aha moments arrives in my mind. When ideas of creativity flow into my body and soul.
I am aware of every sensation in my body and of my orgasm. I feel orgasmic doing all these simple things in my day to day life. I feel I am a walking ball of orgasmic pleasure as I move through like an erotic Goddess through my days. I feel right at home and yet this feeling feels so foreign. I feel free. I feel I’m being myself.
I’ve been afraid of my own erotic power. I know I’m a deeply sexual woman since childhood and then experienced waves of pleasure with my first boyfriend. I remember feeling like a woman. But over time, I gave all my sexual power to him. I viewed myself only from a man’s erotic gaze. Working on myself sexually has given the power back to myself. I feel so much in my body.
When I self-pleasure, it’s the most beautiful feeling in the whole Universe. Sometimes, I explode with intense dangerous pleasure. Other times, I reach my orgasm in a subtle, slow way. What comes through my touch is love. Lots of love. For myself. Deep, satisfying, compassionate, sensual love for myself. When I go to the office, I walk with a sway in my hips. I walk like I own the ground I’m walking. I feel powerful. I feel like a woman. I have emotional and sexual strength.
And at the same time, I embrace my vulnerability. There have been times in my self-pleasure sessions that I have literally cried throughout the time. I cry because I feel happy. I cry because I feel sad and a longing inside and it all comes out in the pleasuring. It is healing. Therapeutic. Transformative.
Reading this article may make you want to do the work around your sexuality and become a woman. It may make you feel you want to feel all this amazing feelings. The truth is it takes time. And there are a lot of tears and sweat. It depends on how much baggage you have. It depends on how deep you are willing to go. In my case, I’ve had layers and layers which I’m peeling away.
The most beautiful result of all this deep work? My self-worth is increasing greatly. I stand up for myself. I stand up for my desires and dreams. I feel I am worthy of a beautiful courtship and a loving relationship with a masculine man. I feel that I am worthy of joyful financial abundance. I deserve to life my life on my own terms. That I matter. My desires matter. My dreams matter. My body matters. My mind matters. My soul and heart matter. I matter.
Image source: Always A Gentleman…Never A Saint
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