My day today has been particularly busy and chaotic. I started off the morning by hopping out of bed and jumbling down the stairs wearing my pajamas. (I recently started a new position which is work from home, hence why I started work in my pajamas…) Anyway, I had a meeting fixed at nine this morning. My stomach rumbled with hunger and nervousness.
I said what I had to say during the meeting and then checked my emails. Suddenly, I received several calls and I took care of them. For some reason, everything seemed to hurl at me once today.
I felt disarmed with everything hurling towards me. I felt my energy become scattered and doubt creeping through my body. My mind was clouded with thoughts bristling about: What the heck are you doing? You don’t know anything! You’ll get through today. Just be patient.
Gosh, there were dozens of thoughts, both positive and negative, swirling in my head!
Well past after five this evening, I was still working. The clocked ticked 5:45 and finally I had sent out the last email.
Clearing My Head
I made dinner quietly and ate it. But I was still taken aback and disturbed. I had focused a great deal this year on self development and self love. I had gratitude journaled, said my affirmations, and meditated. Why was I still then feeling overwhelmed when everything came at me like a rocket? Was my self not strong enough? Did I need to do more healthy practices in addition to the ones I’m doing already?
Took a Deep and Nourishing Nap
I was pondering these questions, when my body just gave in. I had been working nonstop and making time for social and family commitments. My body was whispering (ever so loudly though!) to give me some attention and love. And so I fell asleep. I don’t remember what I dreamed about, but I do remember feeling immensely sweet, light, and free.
When I woke up, it was late evening. Clearly, I had overslept. I took a jog around my apartment complex. After the run, I just sat in silence on my couch. My roommate was not yet home, so I loosened my shoulders and let my energy soak my body.
I realized then the silence felt real and raw. I surrendered to the silence and closed my eyes. It was like my inner soul’s light was shining out and healing me. This is me. Right now. At this very moment. I felt beautiful.
Silence Sharpens Our Clarity & Creates Deep Self-Awareness
My mind became so still that I was able to feel deeply. I became deeply aware that in that moment, a thought formed and became crystal clear. It was refreshing and beautiful.
My mind had been scrambling thinking about all that I had to do and feeling overwhelmed. But when I surrendered to silence, I tapped into my inner self and let it guide me gently. I felt reassured and happy by my own self, instead of something external. I was my own source of happiness and peace.
We are always caught up in doing or saying something. Always in action mode. Sometimes, the very thing our soul craves is for us to surrender to our silence, so we can revel in the beauty of our soul. All the answers to our questions lies in us.
After this experience, I am going to allocate some time everyday to be still and surrender to silence, even for five minutes. I want to incorporate this into my daily practice. Whenever I feel frazzled, I have everything I need to feel healed and comfortable within myself.
How have you dealt with feeling overwhelmed and unbalanced? How does surrendering to silence make you feel? Please share with me in the comments.