As I mentioned in my previous post, I’m undertaking a ten week experiment to unravel and connect deeply to myself more intimately and more wildly. I’m excited about this experiment and I’m keeping myself super open, feminine, soft, and receptive throughout the experiment. I’m already noticing significant changes in me. I’m noticing laser sharpness and an juicy aliveness that I haven’t felt for a while.
For this first week, I focused on this pillar: Focus of Attention. What you focus your attention on is hugely important. Every single moment, our thoughts are focused on something specific, but we don’t realize it because it’s on autopilot. And our thoughts form our deeper beliefs and mindset that in turn create our reality. So as you can imagine, if you want to change and transform your life, focus your attention and thoughts on what you desire, my sexy lady or man 😉
All this week, I was extremely aware of what I thought. Several times, I even went on auto-pilot thinking about certain things and events in my life and then I caught myself being on auto-pilot. It’s an interesting experience because it’s observing yourself from a distance or like you’re a different person.
I tried to be gentle and compassionate towards myself because when I realized some of the thoughts I was thinking, it was not always kind and supportive towards me. Rather, my self-talk was critical and unkind towards me.
For example: I have been focused on creating more abundance in my life. Every day, in my journal, I wrote down how I feel abundant. This included the money flowing into my bank account, masculine attention and energy, love, food, compliments, rain, sunshine, anything essentially that made me feel abundant.
Even though I wrote and journaled about these things to draw even more beautiful abundance into my life (and yes, it’s working!), I noticed my thoughts weren’t always consistent. I caught myself thinking about money, masculine affection, food, work, from a lack mindset. Thinking there isn’t enough.
Then, I felt how that felt in my body. I let the feeling wash over me. I don’t believe painting positivity over the truth you are feeling right now. I don’t believe it is supportive or wise to pretend to feel good by numbing out how you really feel. It’s a million times better and supportive to feel how it feels, no matter how uncomfortable. Don’t wallow in it, but allow yourself to feel.
Once I felt how that felt in my body by lying on my bed or sofa being super still with my eyes closed, I don’t know how much time had passed, twenty to thirty minutes, I burst into tears. I started to cry uncontrollably. After I was done crying, I felt light and tired. I was astounded by how much emotion lie stored in my body. Then, I thought of what I desired and how I can feel more abundant.
The next couple days, my mind naturally veered to thinking thoughts that were more uplifting, supportive, and abundant. I felt more joyful. I slowed down after work in the evenings where I cooked recipes and meditated. I did body scans every night and noticed how every part of my body felt as well to drop even deeper into connection with mysel.
These are the questions I asked myself. If you’d like, you’re more than welcome to follow along on my journey and start your own Wildly Intimate Experiment 🙂
DO: How are you feeling at this moment? What are you placing your focus and attention on? What qualities are you looking to feel more of? What would you like to focus your attention more on?
Through answering these questions, I became crystal clear that the qualities I wanted to feel more of in my life and focus my attention more on creating and savoring are abundance, romance, and joy.
I also decided to set an intention to keep me on track and embody my Wildly Intimate Woman more deeply during the next ten weeks. I thought about it and meditated about it. And here is what came to me. My intuition and body told me this is the right intention for me. This is what I intend to feel for my journey in the next ten weeks.
I am a Goddess and I feel wildly intimate, happy, fulfilled, sexy and powerful ❤
I lit a candle and stared at myself in the mirror and told myself over and over that I am a Goddess and I feel wildly intimate, happy, fulfilled, sexy and powerful.
And you know what, I’m starting to believe that 😉 On to the next week. Here is Week 2’s pillar: Vulnerability. I’ll share my findings next Sunday.
As an additional note, here are the tools and practices I used to embody my intention and focus on this pillar:
The Mind (mental intelligence): Affirmations that prosperity and abundance is inside me. I repeated my intention in front of the mirror to gain a greater self-connection.
The Body (instinctual intelligence/body wisdom): Body scans, meditations. Yoga exercises to stretch my body and go deeper.
The Heart (emotional intelligence): Journaling about the questions earlier I mentioned. Writing about my feelings and feeling my feelings completely.
The Soul (higher self/spirit): Understanding what my higher self wants to lead and teach me. In this week, it was to teach me how to trust the process and let my unraveling happen at its own organic pace.
Lots of Love,
Image source: Wild Woman Sisterhood