I’m finally getting to the final installment for My Bombay Adventure series! As you know, I started working on the deep self-inquiry and exploration on connecting to my Wildly Intimate Woman instead (the 10-part series is here if you’d like to read more about it).
For some reason, I found myself not wanting to complete the fifth part of My Bombay Adventure. I think I feel this way because writing this series has officially helped me to process the whole experience and look at it from a fresh perspective because today I’m older and more mature since the time I embarked on this adventure.
Also, I’ve spoken about my adventures in Bombay to close friends and especially my family. I have so many memories from this one month adventure that I feel like I actually spent a year in Bombay! Yet at the same time, I’ve glossed over some things then and the lessons and learnings I gained from this experience.
As I’m writing this, I realize what I’m truly afraid of and deliciously excited about. Processing this experience and fully understanding and feeling the learnings of it will mean I must gracefully put it behind me. Leave it in the past and look back at it from time to time fondly and more importantly, release the attachment to it and move forward.
Moving forward means I continue to evolve and let my soul grow and expand through other experiences. This means wholeheartedly accepting and embracing the unknown. It is scary because I don’t know what unfolds next, yet I do feel super excited about it.
So here goes. Here are my reflections and golden learnings from my Bombay Adventure:
Release Attachment to the End Result/Outcome
I went to Bombay for two reasons. To have a vacation and enjoy myself as a young girl exploring a new country on her own. It was to feed my curiosity of what Bombay is really like. Is it really like what is shown in the movies? There has been this fantasy about it in my mind for years. And that is the reason I voiced to my family and friends and strangers when discussing this experience and WHY I went there.
There was another reason why I traveled there. A reason just as important, if not more. Since I was a child, I knew I would be connected to film and media and the inner workings of this industry. I really have no idea why I know this, it’s just this deep knowing that rests in my body and subconscious. Even today, I know I’ll be connected to Bombay and films at some point in my life. When? How? I have no idea.
I was getting bored working in my office job at the time even though I truly loved working at Yahoo!, but I couldn’t see myself doing this always. There has always been a gypsy, wild free spirit in me and I knew I’d earn a living working in films. So I went with the expectation that something concrete would result from it. A major breakthrough and turning point in my life.
The interesting and funny thing is it practically happened. It would’ve become a reality. Perhaps I’d become an actress. A writer. Perhaps both. What I have learned is that it’s almost scarier to have your desires and dreams become realized because it means your whole life transforms and changes. It means you have to be fully committed. It also means that you are worthy and deserving of the experience.
And here is where the disconnect occurred. I started to feel not worthy and wondered why I could deserve this experience easily.
Hence it is important to realize that your soul is leading the way and that desires come to you and are realized for a reason. It is for your soul’s expansion and growth. Embrace the desire and release attachment to the outcome and let it unfold the way it wishes.
And when your desire is being realized right before your eyes? Never ever question it. Simply accept and embrace it as the gift it is from your soul and the Universe.
Embracing the Vulnerability of Being Visible
Through this series, I wrote how I started to become more visible as I visited film and television sets and studios. I met with directors, producers, cameramen, actors, actresses, etc. That meant they saw me. It meant I was being pushed from my self-made cave and being seen by them. It made me feel vulnerable. I also felt amazing energy of excitement and thrill at the same time.
I didn’t entirely realize it at the time, but the only way to receive opportunities and grow was to be more visible. For my soul’s gifts to be truly expressed, I would have to allow myself to be seen and accept the vulnerability that came with it. And that I was worthy of being seen.
It’s deeply vulnerable to be seen because you fear you will be judged or criticized or not liked. I compare it to falling in love. Falling in love is both a divinely beautiful process, but also terrifying. Because it can go either way.
The reason why we fall in love though is to be more connected to our souls through each other and because of the possibility that it MAY work out beautifully and happily. The same goes for allowing yourself to be seen.
Allowing Myself to be Seen as a Woman
As I mentioned in my earlier installments of this series, I received a lot of masculine attention. Many men I met either directly expressed or subtly hinted that I was beautiful and charming. This attention threw me off guard. I was surprised by it.
I didn’t grow up feeling pretty and attractive. In fact, it was quite the other way. I was teased for my weight and other girls around me received attention. So it definitely came as a pleasant surprise that for once I was at the receiving end of this masculine energy and attention.
I enjoyed it and I believe I possessed a very innocent, delicate beauty because I was unaware and unassuming about my external beauty. This was the starting point in my life where I started to allow myself to be seen as a woman and be in that nurturing, soft, alluring space of receiving and in flow.
It’s what would define in coming years how I would behave and respond and be as a woman in romance and relationships.
Drawing Boundaries and Honoring Them (+ Standing Up For Myself)
This Bombay trip also hugely tested my having a strong sense of boundaries and honoring my needs first and foremost. This played out in two distinct events, standing up for myself to the girls who moved in with me initially at the guest house and when the television actor made an outrageous pass at me.
I didn’t stand up for myself completely in both instances, though I definitely tried with the two girls who moved in with me at the guest house. I was too much in shock to do anything with the television actor who made an outrageous pass at me. Looking back, I should’ve stood up for myself with him and honored my space because he was clearly not honoring it, instead of blaming myself for his actions.
Even though I didn’t do it then, a seed started to grow within me. For many years, through romantic relationships and friendships, I still didn’t entirely honor my boundaries. It’s only when I look back today, I realize the importance of doing this.
It’s important to ALWAYS put my needs and desires first and honor them. And that it is a great act of self-love to draw boundaries and express them openly. It’s something I’m a lot better at now and continuing to grow in.
The Delicate Dance Between Feminine and Masculine Energy & Manifesting My Heartfelt Desires
Going back to manifesting desires again. There is a dance that occurs between masculine and feminine energy and striving for a balance is what ultimately manifests your heartfelt desires into reality.
The feminine energy is creativity, beauty, and intuition. It moves like water and it flows and receives. Masculine energy is direct, action-oriented, and structured. The masculine penetrates and leads the feminine, whereas the feminine is open and allows herself to receive the masculine energy and holds space for it.
When I made the decision to fly to Bombay for this adventure, I internally created a shift. I created space within to let this desire simmer in me. Because it was a heartfelt desire, there was a strong physical sensation in my body and I received this energy (thereby immersing in my feminine energy).
From this space, I stayed in the present moment and took action (thereby acting on my masculine energy) and contacted the program and organizers and bought my plane ticket and arranged all the details for my trip.
This dance is something I do every time I now want to manifest a heartfelt desire of mine.
Understanding the Difference Between Reality and Fantasy
Lastly, the last lesson I learned from trip was to stay rooted in reality and the present moment. There is a mystical, fantasy element in the world of films and media. Everything is an illusion. We all in our normal day to day lives play with this fantasy and reality energy and elements constantly. In essence, we each play multiple roles, wearing different masks, as we go throughout our own lives.
Having a strong connection to my intuition will cause me to see and feel things and sensations before they actually occur. I can feel when something is about to come to me.
But I can also delude myself into thinking something that isn’t there at times because I’m not rooted in reality. The people I met and the sets I visited were real and they were magical experiences, but I cannot let other people’s perceptions of me get in the way of my own self-worth and continue to live my life in an authentic manner and turn inwards for my sense of peace, stability, and joy.
It’s wonderful and magical to play with your dreams and desires and fantasies, but remember to always stay rooted in your body and reality and LIVE AND FEEL JOY in the present moment because your inner world is what brings you peace and wisdom and will reflect in your external world.
What are your thoughts on this last installment of My Bombay Adventure series? Have you also learned similar soul lessons? What were the learnings and lessons in your experience? Please share with me, I love to hear from you!