I don’t think I have ever talked about this experience so openly and fully. But I feel it is the perfect time to reveal this experience. It happened seven years ago in college, yet it remains imprinted in my mind.
A Guy I was in Love With
I was a Resident Advisor in my last year of college. The guy I liked was a resident, though not part of my building! He was a resident of my team member’s building and a part of the transfer student building specifically.
He was tall, rugged looking, dirty blond, and had the most gorgeous, sparkling blue eyes.
Sigh! Even Today, I can Feel that Electrifying Feeling
He wasn’t the most good looking guy, but there was something very striking about him. He definitely had an aura.
Immediately, I fell for him. At the time, I was working out like crazy and trying to shed off the pounds I had piled on in high school. That was the year I was regaining my confidence and feeling good about myself.
I Couldn’t Stop Thinking About Him and Confessed My Feelings to Him…
All I could think about was him. I genuinely liked him a lot, but was incredibly shy around him. But as the school year wrapped up and I knew I was graduating and would move on, I felt compelled to tell him my feelings.
At first, I couldn’t do it. I waved it off. But I couldn’t sleep and that thought just kept swirling in my head. One day, I ran into him in the night as as I was walking to another resident building. There was no around him and no one was with me. This was my moment.
It was the Perfect Time
With a shaky voice and an extremely red face, I told him that I had a major crush on him and liked him with all my heart. He grinned and also turned red. Then, in a low voice, he told me he had a girlfriend!
My Heart Sank
It was the most exhilarating and intense experience in my life up until that point. I felt free to express my feelings to him, but as soon as he told me he had a girlfriend, my heart sank.
Later, perhaps due to immaturity with us both being young, he started to avoid me and I could tell the way his friends looked at me at the dining commons and chuckled, I knew that they knew about my confession. I felt embarrassed. He even blocked me on Facebook and I became confused and sad because I never said anything to him after our run in. I had decided to leave him alone considering he had a girlfriend.
I wanted to complete my last year of college with my dignity intact. One early morning after a rigorous gym workout, I saw him with his girlfriend sharing breakfast and being loving. My heart broke into many pieces.
Today, I realized How Much Courage it Took Me
This experience cracked my heart open. It was my very first time dipping my foot in the love and romance water. I took a chance even though it didn’t turn out the way I wanted. I put myself on the spot. It took me a year to get over that experience. But looking back, I realize how much I grew as a person since then. Today, I could share this experience, but if I hadn’t done it, I would have kept wondering what would have happened… Sometimes, it’s better to know 🙂
What are your thoughts on this post? Please share with me in the comments.