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Priyanka Yadvendu

Answers to Joy, Intimacy, Security, Family & Romantic Relationships for 20-Something Women

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Enchanted Silence: Connect with Your Erotic, Sensual Woman and Become in Touch with Your Wildly Deep Feminine Sexuality and Softness

July 24, 2019 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

I talk about my deep unraveling and transformation that unfolded over the course of two years often.  How I finally had the courage to face myself and heal my wounds.  And learned to love and accept myself deeply.  A core part of this journey included becoming connected to the richness of my sexuality and sensuality.  I was sexually frozen.  I had no sense of my own sexuality.  I didn’t even realize that I was a sexual being and how much of my worth was linked to how I saw myself sexually.

Working with a female embodiment coach was one of the best decisions I made during that time.  It helped me to connect to my erotic woman and shed layers of fears and expectations that I had unnecessarily piled onto my sexuality.  It was painful to be honest.  Many tears were shed.  I couldn’t believe how much I had been hiding myself and how terrified I was of being seen and revealing any hint of my sexuality.

The truth was and is that I am a deeply sexual woman.  I am an intense erotic and sensual woman and I have always been.  I remember as a teenager trying on dresses and clothes and I could feel my curvy body hugging the clothes.  I could feel the fiery hotness of my sweet sensuality.  But I thought I wasn’t worth it.  I thought I wasn’t pretty enough.  I thought I wasn’t hot enough.  I thought I wasn’t sexy enough.

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Filed Under: Ramblings

Enchanted Silence: Feel Deep Love and Intrigue for Your Own Life and Manifest Romantic Love and Your Beloved into Your Life

July 24, 2019 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

Feel deep love and intrigue for your own life and manifest romantic love and your Beloved into your life.

  1. Be ready for deep transformation and create space for it. Make changes in your life.  Clear things in your life on an even deeper level to have more space in your life for the right man to appear.  CREATE YOUR INTENTION.
  2. Look at your family dynamics and patterns and stories that played out in your romantic relationships. CLEAR ALL your fears and blocks.  GO DEEP.
  3. Become CRYSTAL CLEAR about your intention in receiving your Beloved and what you want to feel being with him and the qualities in him. BE SUPER SPECIFIC.
  4. BECOME SEXY, MAGNETIC, and WILDLY INTIMATE WITH YOURSELF!! UPGRADE YOUR STORY AND ACT AS IF YOU HAVE YOUR BELOVED RIGHT NOW.
  5. Take action steps. BE BOLD and move out of your comfort zone.  It’s TIME NOW, LADIES!
  6. TRUST the process. Let go and surrender.  AND GIVE GRATITUDE AND RECEIVE YOUR BELOVED and ENJOY SACRED UNION.

Keep repeating and going deeper if needed.

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Filed Under: Ramblings

Enchanted Silence: Become More Comfortable with the Uncomfortable and Take Chances Again

July 24, 2019 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

Sensual Practices:  Make time for your pleasure, but go slow and deep when loving your body.  I like to take a feather and brush it against my skin and whole body and feel fully every stroke of the feather.  You may want to stop or become impatient, but stay with the practice.  Do it for at least five minutes and feel every emotion that arises.  This will help you to stay in the present moment and when you are anchored in the now, you will find synchronicity, guidance, and comfort flow to you that will help you to move forward with ease and flow.  It’s a simple, but powerful exercise.

Intuitive Practices:  Get a deck of tarot cards and do a reading for yourself is soothing and can provide you with guidance and simply support you to believe in the unseen and have faith that what is unfolding is for your higher good.  You can even go for a professional tarot card reading or energy healing to deeply support yourself during a transition.  Or open up a journal and write how you want to feel during this transition and what fears are arising and what self-care practices you will take on board for your well-being.

If this post resonated with you and you’d like to move to the next chapter of your life by honoring your past and navigating your current transition with ease and flow, please get in touch with me and schedule time with me to become more Wildly intimate with your desires and goals.  I’d love to hold space for your own deep transformation, dear Wildly Intimate Woman.

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Filed Under: Ramblings

Reflections from 2018: A Slow, Intense Transformative Year

July 24, 2019 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

Dear Reader,

As promised, I write a post every year that contains my reflections for the year that has just completed. February is soon coming to completion and March is here. I like to take the first two months of the year to feel the energy of the new year ahead. I personally don’t feel that as soon as the clock ticks midnight that we are automatically energetically in the New Year. It takes time energetically to step into the new year….new opportunities, experiences…

My guide words for 2018 were: ROMANTIC, EROTIC, MAGICAL, SEDUCTIVE, EASEFUL. I wanted the focus in 2018 to be on on my personal romantic love life and going deeper in my sexuality. I wanted to experience romance and wanted the year to be magical. I wanted to feel erotic and seductive in my sexuality and with a man.

However, the year unfolded in a very interesting and unexpected way. January and February felt like everything was moving along well and forward. And in March, suddenly, I found out something that hurt me deeply. I don’t want to go into detail because I’m a very private person, though I will share that this close female friend manipulated me and obtained personal information about me and my close relationship with someone deliberately to further her own personal agenda and motives. I could not believe it because I trusted this person greatly. I saw her as a trusted confidante and assumed she always wished well for me. I never saw her ulterior motives. Not only did we work together, we shared a genuine friendship.

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Filed Under: Ramblings

I Am Finding My Beauty and Sensuality Through the Art of Dancing

December 20, 2018 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

Dear Reader,

It’s been some time since my last post.  2018 has obviously been an emotionally intense year and now I feel much lighter and happier.  It is because I took the time to do deep inner work and understand myself and heal my wounds and love and care for my inner child.  I gave myself a lot of love this year. 

Finding My Beauty & Sensuality through Dancing

Finding My Beauty & Sensuality through Dancing

It is an ongoing journey of course.  It is important to keep taking care of yourself and loving yourself deeply.  I am completing 2018 by signing up for private lessons with a dance teacher.  She has her own private dance studio and I am learning Latin and Ballroom dancing from her.

The first lesson I have is learning how to strengthen my core and learn salsa.  It is the basic foundation for the rest of the Latin dancing.  The moment I set foot on the dance floor, I felt something.  Something deep in my chest and heart and stomach.  I felt a shiver run across my body. I  feel my whole body on fire.

I felt alive.  And it’s a feeling I don’t feel much.  I don’t feel it at work or with friends or at home.  It just feels like I’m being myself when I’m dancing.  I feel it’s something I’ve been doing not for years, but for centuries.  I truly deep in my soul and heart feel that I was an actress or dancer in a past life.

Since I was a child, I’ve had visions and dreams of dancing so sensually and beautifully that people would stop and gaze at me.  When I play a song, I visualize myself dancing away and expressing my wildly deep feminine sexuality easily.  I have a strong, intense, deep, beautiful, erotic, and sensual sexuality and one of the ways I am able to express it is through dancing.

I’ve been telling myself for some time that I would take dance classes and learn how to dance.  And now I have given myself this loving opportunity to do so.  Energetically, I feel different.  There is something more raw about me.  I feel like with dancing, I will peel away more layers of my armor and be able to open my heart more fully.  I’m a very guarded person and with many walls up, however dancing helps me to reveal more of who I am without saying a single word.

I feel the energy of dancing flowing to my heart and opening me up.  I feel that I too am deserving of much love and abundance in my life.  That I deserve to have happiness in my life and feel deep joy and peace in my heart, soul, mind, and body.

Dancing helps me to build a foundation of self-worth and connect to my feminine energy so I can embody more of who I am as a woman and magnetize to me what truly I deserve and am aligned with.

Lots of Love,

Priyanka Yadvendu

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Filed Under: Ramblings

I am Healing My Fear of Men and Teaching Myself How to Have a Healthy Relationship

November 18, 2018 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

Dear Reader,

In this post, I’ll go into some detail about what happened to me to give me peace and a voice to myself.

Last year, I had an experience that made me terrified of men.  It was with a man I deeply loved and most of this year has been spent on healing from that experience.  I remember being kicked out with such hatred and anger and nonchalance.  It did something to my soul and heart and body and mind.  It broke me.  I fell apart.  In my entire life, I’ve never been treated in such a way.

Feminine Woman Facing Her Past to Find Her Truth

Feminine Woman Facing Her Past to Find Her Truth

Looking back, I do know that he was under the influence of drugs and alcohol.  I remember him making fun of me being Indian and screaming at me to tell my father to come and pick me up.  He told me several hateful things to me.  I remember telling him to be compassionate since I didn’t know where I had parked my car in the night.  He was adamant that I had to leave at that very moment and continued screaming “Get out.”  

He also told me our bond was one-sided with such hatred and apathy and that I should move on.  He showed no regard for my well-being and I remember his blue eyes fiery with rage.  I kept on crying and crying and I believe my body and soul and heart were shocked from what was happening to me.  But the truth is that I didn’t know what was exactly happening to me.

I knew this man for nearly ten years and had met him at work when I was 22 years old.  It was even more unsettling to me that someone I knew and was incredibly charming in all our other encounters was behaving this way to me that night.

It has taken so much time to process this experience with someone I thought I had known.  I became numb from this experience and shut myself down.  It was a survival mechanism that my mind and body did naturally to “survive.”  I have spent so much time exploring this experience in therapy and finally had the courage to mention it to two close friends of mine.

I realize now that this was a toxic relationship and I’ve gone through emotional abuse and although this experience has terrified me and I wasn’t able to properly open up to men, I am also very fortunate because this emotional abuse could have led to physical abuse if I decided to stay any longer.  What is most difficult is accepting that this side exists in this person when you feel you know them well.

I have forgiven him since then and he hasn’t given me any answers or an apology, however I have made peace with this fact.  I now know what I am worthy of and that I’m deserving of being in a loving, healthy relationship.  I have spent a lot of time reading books, doing therapy, working with coaches, and loving myself so I can understand and know what a healthy relationship is and even looks like.

It hasn’t been an easy journey, though one I am very proud of myself for undergoing with resilience, courage, truth, and emotional depth.

Lots of Love,

Priyanka YadvenduShare This Post

Filed Under: Ramblings, Transformation

Dear Beloved, If This World Were Mine, I’d Give You Anything

October 22, 2018 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

Dear Beloved,

Since I’m not the most expressive woman and I find it difficult to express my emotions.  I feel everything so deeply and intensely and yet I find it hard to express my happiness, sadness, anger, or anxiety.  I wish that I could be like a normal woman who shouts and screams and cries and laughs at the drop of a hat.  But I am not and I am beautiful in my own way and I know you understand who I am as a woman.

Romantic and Soft at Heart

Romantic and Soft at Heart

I am drawn to the fine arts and creativity because it is where I feel so incredibly freeing and therapeutic.  I can be myself and I am deeply connected to God and the Universe.  I feel myself wholly.  Songs and poetry and music and films and books are how I express myself.  And this song expresses how I feel about you:  If this world were mine, I’d give you anything.

Marvin Gaye’s If This World Were Mine (with Tammi Terrell)

If this world were mine, I’d place at your feet
All that I own; you’ve been so good to me
If this world were mine
I’d give you the flowers, the birds and the bees
For with your love inside me, that would be all I need
If this world were mine
I’d give you anything

[T:]
If this world were mine, I’d make you a king
With wealth untold, you could have anything
If this world were mine
I’d give you each day so sunny and blue
If you wanted the moonlight, I’d give you that too
If this world were mine
I’d give you anything

[M:] Oh baby, you’re my consolation
And there’s no hesitation
When you want me, honey, just call me
[T:] And honey, you’re my inspiration
And there’s so much sensation
When I’m in your arms, when you squeeze me

[M:] And the sky would be blue
As long as you’re lovin’ me
[T:] With you here in my arms
Life is so wonderful

[Both:]
Give me pretty lovin’, baby
Give me pretty lovin’, honey
Keep on lovin’ me
You know I need you, baby
Really, really need you, baby
[…and fade]

Lots of Love,

Priyanka YadvenduShare This Post

Filed Under: Desire, Transformation

I Desire a Man Who Stands Up For Me and Values My Gentleness, Softness, and Emotional Depth

September 14, 2018 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

Dear Reader,

I’ve been thinking a lot about what qualities I desire in a man.  I’d like him to be physically and energetically masculine.  I’d like him to take the lead in our relationship and be a strong personality.  Even though he’ll have a strong personality, I’d like him to be expressive and able to be vulnerable and give me the space and time to be myself and understanding of the fact that I may do things and think differently than him.

Feminine Woman living and standing in her truth and honesty

Feminine Woman living and standing in her truth and honesty

I don’t expect him to be perfect and I know there will be flaws and clashes with different personalities.  The MOST IMPORTANT quality is that he values my gentleness, softness, and emotional depth.  Instead of seeing it as a weakness or something to take advantage of.  That he sees these qualities in me as something to cherish and love deeply in me.  Me being an emotional woman is a strength.  Not a weakness for him to prey on.

The past couple months of this year have been spent on forgiving the men I’ve dated who haven’t given me what I wanted and desired deeply.  Perhaps I hadn’t given them what they desired, too.  Initially, I felt so much anger and rage at previous lovers.  I felt deep sadness and anger at myself, too.  I couldn’t understand how I had gotten every part of my life right and together.  Except for my personal romantic life.

This wasn’t true though, of course.  Through all my healing work particularly around my sexuality, I realized the deeply entrenched beliefs I carried in my heart and soul and body.  My mother and grandmother and who knows how many generations in both sides of my family carry the belief of being unworthy of love.  I didn’t realize I carried this in my cells. 

Slowly and slowly, I am realizing that I too deserve to be in love with a wonderful man who loves me for who I am and takes care of me and most of all, values my qualities of gentleness and softness in a world that is filled with pretension and manipulation and cruelty.

I am bohemian and old-fashioned at the same time and am so accepting of all kinds of people from all walks of life.  My soft presence brings him a soothing, healing, beautiful, sensual energy.  I desire to be so loved and accepted by him that I’m able to drop my emotional distance and walls.

My deepest desire in my life is for a man to stand up for me.  For someone to hold my hand and tell the world that I belong to him.  I want him to have the courage to be a man in every sense and stand up for me and in return, I will be the most sensual, enchanting, devoted, loyal, loving woman to him forever.

Lots of Love,

Priyanka Yadvendu

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Filed Under: Desire, Ramblings, Romantic Advice, Transformation

Cultivating My Intuition and Sensuality to Create and Launch My First Digital Online Course

September 2, 2018 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

Dear Reader,

I’ve been writing and developing the content for my first digital online course titled: Invite and Receive Romantic Love & Money.  It is based off my first workshop that I held last year.  It was a 5-week workshop held in person at a hotel lounge.  I specifically wanted a luxurious environment for my workshop because this workshop is all about calling in the richness of your desires into your life financially and romantically.

Be Both Soft and Wild

Be Both Soft and Wild

Five women joined the workshop and I held an additional two rounds and I was amazed at the results.  I received messages after the workshop was completed and after several months had passed, on how they were in happy relationships and calling in the financial abundance they desired in their lives.  Most women came to my workshop to transform their romantic love life more than the financial parts, however went with a deep knowledge about how the two are actually intrinsically connected and how nurturing both areas allows both romantic love and financial abundance to blossom.

I went through a sexual awakening this year.  I went through therapy to face my past and clear fears I’ve been holding for some time.  Perhaps I am still going through part of my sexual awakening journey, all I do know is that I feel much better now.  I feel there is a flow in my journey now.  While going through this awakening this year, I focused on creating my digital online by working with a mentor.  Her name is Vienda Maria.  In case you’d like to know and work with her 😉  I highly recommend her private mentoring and online courses 🙂  I wanted to learn from her specifically because I take and love her digital online courses.

One of the reasons I decided to create this digital online course is to reach more women.  As I was going through my sexual awakening and undergoing therapy, I didn’t have the desire or energy to conduct workshops.  Something that I so passionately loved I didn’t have the energy or inclination do.  I realized that it’s normal to go through the peaks and valleys in life and if I had a digital online course created for this workshop at this stage of my life, it would have been easier to support women and at the same time support and nourish myself fully.

I am transforming as I create this course.  I am falling in love with myself.  I am healing myself.  I am using every ounce of my fiery feminine intuition and sensuality.  I am feeling connected to my soul.  I am feeling connected to my spiritual self.  I am learning how to move past my uncomfortable edges and own my sexuality and intuition.

I am learning how to see my own sexuality and intuition as my strengths.  In the male dominated and productive world we live, feminine qualities aren’t as valued.  Through my own experience and journey, I am seeing how my sensuality and intuition are the foundation of my feminine power.  And when I become stronger and more connected in my own sensuality and intuition, my manifesting powers become stronger.  I am able to live the life I desire.

Lots of Love,

Priyanka Yadvendu

 

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Filed Under: Desire, Transformation

He Possesses An Enchantment and I’m Mesmerized

August 29, 2018 by Priyanka Leave a Comment

Dear Beloved,

The lyrics of this song remind of you:  Enchantment by Corinne Bailey Rae….❤ 

Sensual Woman Connecting to Her Beloved

Sensual Woman Connecting to Her Beloved

I wait for you
I don’t know why
All I know is I can’t hide
At this temperature you could take over my mind

Like gossamer, you softly touch
He draws me in, I’m powerless
He possesses an enchantment

Tell me I’m forgiven
He calls; don’t know how I fell under his spell
Lately, I’ve been driven
He smiles an enchantment

I wait for you
I’m mesmerized
This love is like a potion in disguise
I’d tightrope walk with a blindfold on my eyes

I can’t escape, or so it seems
I’d run away; he’s in my dreams
He possesses an enchantment

Tell me I’m forgiven
He calls; don’t know how I fell under his spell
Lately, I’ve been driven
He smiles an enchantment

It’s the kind of sleepwalk that never ends
A type of loan with no dividends
It’s a parlor game where you’re giving chase
Guess it could be called an acquired taste
I know, he knows, he calls, I go, I know
This could be an enchantment

Why don’t you tell me I’m forgiven?
He calls; don’t know how I fell under his spell
I’m forgiven
Lately, I’ve been driven
He smiles and I give in
An enchantment

Lots of Love,

Priyanka Yadvendu

 

Image source:  GUMUSShare This Post

Filed Under: Desire, Ramblings

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Priyanka Yadvendu makes her home in the San Francisco Bay Area and enjoys running, volunteering, and drinking chocolate martinis. Read More…

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Latest from the Blog:

  • Enchanted Silence: Connect with Your Erotic, Sensual Woman and Become in Touch with Your Wildly Deep Feminine Sexuality and Softness
  • Enchanted Silence: Feel Deep Love and Intrigue for Your Own Life and Manifest Romantic Love and Your Beloved into Your Life
  • Enchanted Silence: Become More Comfortable with the Uncomfortable and Take Chances Again
  • Reflections from 2018: A Slow, Intense Transformative Year
  • I Am Finding My Beauty and Sensuality Through the Art of Dancing

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