2016 was all about letting go of people and situations that didn’t serve me. It felt like a push and pull year. It was an emotionally intense year where I nearly cried myself to sleep every day. I’m proud that I was committed to trusting the process and surrendering last year because now I know why it happened. 2017 was a completely different year. A fast, active, social year filled with new beginnings and light in my life.
A fresh chapter has arrived and the pages are turning. Since I am knowledgeable about astrology and numerology, I knew 2016 was year 9 of my 9-year cycle. It made sense because that year was about completion and endings. Whereas 2017 was about fresh starts and beginnings. 2017 was year 1 of my brand new 9-year cycle.
Because I knew this, I knew the beautiful, sunny energy of Year 1 would support me in anything I wanted to do and initiate this year. I consciously used this magnificent, bountiful energy to transform the two areas of my life that needed the most transformation: MONEY and ROMANTIC LOVE.
Falling in Love with My Money…
I spent the first six months of this year working with a Money Coach deeply unraveling my beliefs and patterns surrounding money and understanding with confronting clarity the emotional reasons on why and how I handled my money the way I did. Why I made the decisions I did. I learned how I didn’t love myself very much and gave my power away to others. Slowly, piece by piece, I gave the power back to myself. I worked on clearing my credit card and started to put a portion of my earnings into savings every month. I realized that taking care of money and my finances is just as important and part of self-care as baths, massages, etc. and an act of deep self-love.
For the FIRST time in my life, an emotional energy and deep love powered my financial decisions. I knew why I spent a certain amount every month and why I saved every month. In fact, I renamed my bank account savings to: My Wedding + Self-Love. Because this is exactly why I’m saving money. For myself. For my wedding. For me. To show love to myself.
Saving Money is a deep act of self love and taking care of myself. By the end of 2017, I am really proud that I have completed paid off my credit card. The past 2.5 years I thought of my credit card every moment. Now I feel this beautiful sense of relief and pride. And abundance. And I also have a financially abundant bank account and never have I before had such a healthy, loving relationship with money.
I deliberately chose to work on the money part of my life first because sexual energy intertwines and bonds romantic love and money. In other words, the seductive sexual energy creates life and magnetizes the flow of money. By working on my money stuff, I knew I was working on my sexual energy and romantic love life at the same time. I noticed how my sexual appeal and magnetism as a woman greatly increased as I did deep inner work on my money.
Romantic Love Experiences
Around March this year, I had an experience with a man which turned out to be deeply emotional, sensitive, and intense. I don’t want to go into detail, however I will say the meeting wasn’t pleasant and it reaffirmed the deeply embedded subconscious beliefs I held of myself that I am not worthy of true love and that a man won’t stand up for me and want to be in a loving, committed relationship with me. It has taken months for me to process this experience. It was a deeply painful experience. Everything that I felt about myself reflected to me through him. And I must have been a mirror for himself as well. I knew I had deeper inner work to do surrounding love.
This experience transformed me in ways I cannot explain still. I read many books and blogs on romantic love across all topics – sex, commitment, communication, dating, self-worth. Basically, I learned how to have a relationship and be in a relationship. Something we all assume will just come naturally to us when we meet the right person or start dating. We assume that there isn’t anything to learn about relationships because well, it’s not like math or science or English in school.
And I didn’t just read…I did the inner work. I dove deep into my soul and searched for answers and more importantly, the right questions. Because all my life I thought being in the perfect, loving relationship was a dream and would fall into my lap only if I was lucky and fortunate. I wish someone told me that I am responsible and a creator of this relationship. By first creating a loving, committed relationship with myself and accepting and embracing who I am completely as a person and my flaws and my self-worth.
I’ve heard this so many times and understood it on a mental and intellectual level, though to put this in action. To do the inner work and take the actions to love myself and create the relationship of my dreams. That was something else! It meant facing my own shadows and darkness. And it was scary and chaotic and a beautiful mess. And completely worth it. So after my money work, I continued working with my first coach whom I had worked with much earlier and went deeper in the realm of love, sex, and desire. I showed up for myself and this work.
Around July last year, I also moved home and this also proved to be the right decision for me. I was able to save more money faster and since my family lives in a more relaxed town with a slower pace of life than the rest of chaotic Silicon Valley, I was able to seek true joy and pleasure in my life and make time for my family and friends and most of all, my self and my desires.
I created a new in person workshop that integrated everything I learned about Money and Romantic Love and called it Invite & Receive Romantic Love & Money. I facilitate this workshop at a gorgeous hotel and it is such a pleasure for me to support the women in their romantic love and money areas of their lives.
I ran this workshop twice and the participants had beautiful words and praise for it which made my heart filled with deep love and gratitude. There was several requests to run the workshop again during the Holiday season, however I decided to focus on slowing down in November and December and enjoying the Holidays. The Holidays bring up mixed emotions in me, though overall I enjoyed myself during the Holidays.
Moving Forward in 2018 and My Vision
I’ve taken time into January to write this post because I wanted to gently enter the new year. I wanted to be present every moment of the Holiday season. Now that I’ve had time to process 2017, I’ve felt into how I want 2018 to unfold. I let my guide words for this year come to me. And here they are….ROMANTIC, EROTIC, MAGICAL, SEDUCTIVE, EASEFUL
I want the focus to be entirely on my personal romantic love life and going deeper in my sexuality this year. I really want to experience romance as I’m a Taurean woman and we love romance and sweetness 🙂 I continued with the word Magical because I want this year to be even more magical than 2017. 2017 was indeed very magical and I want to continue on this same path this year. Erotic and seductive is how I desire to feel in my sexuality and with a man.
And I also continued the usage of the world Easeful because I want everything in my life to unfold with gentle, feminine ease. I don’t want to push and strive to fulfill my desires. I’ll listen to my intuition and soul’s guidance and then take inspired action. It’ll be a beautiful dance between doing and stillness. I want to enjoy the journey of receiving my desires and seeing them become fulfilled.
I am going to continue to work on my money and I want it to feel easy receiving large sums of money and earning money in creative, fun, and healthy ways. I intend to deepen my now healthy, thriving relationship with money. I want to feel richness with my money. The action steps I’ll take is to complete the Modern Retirement Planning workshop, save more money each month, and earn money easily and creatively through my Invite and Receive Romantic Love & Money workshops.
I also know that 2018 is Year 2 of my 9-year cycle which means this year is going to be tremendously different from the past three years that were intense and filled with transformation. Year 2 is a very emotional, slow-paced, and gentle year yet filled with intensity and sensitivity. This is the year for me to become intimate with my Beloved and form a deep bond with him. This also means it’s not a year meant for action or initiating huge projects. It’s more of a go with the flow year and focus on building a strong inner foundation which will create a strong external foundation.
There will be moments of intensity and I’ll feel sensitive and I’ll have to be patient with myself and other people in my life and take time to connect with my inner stillness. Keeping this in mind, I feel it’s the perfect year to focus on my health and body. I’m working with a body coach to feel deep love for my body and feel peace with my relationship with food. It’s working wonders because I don’t have a love-hate relationship with food anymore. I approach food from a place of love and practice intuitive eating. I’ve also starting taking dance classes and working out at the gym. Instead of going crazy on my exercise routine and pushing myself, I work out in a gentle, loving way that honors my body.
I also do feel the desire to connect with something more than myself. With God. With the Universe. Whatever name you decide to call it, for me, it’s God and the Universe. I am feeling an intensity to visit Churches, Temples, and other places of worship. I’m not even sure why. I do know that I feel the calling and hence I’ll honor it. Perhaps this is my way to feel calm and centered and peaceful this year as I understand my soul’s plans and learnings.
And most of all, this year is devoted to exploring my beautiful, sublime, erotic, and seductive sexuality. Embracing all the soft and fiery elements of my sexuality and womanhood. I intend to feel satisfied, happy, orgasmic, and feminine in love and expressing my wildly deep feminine sexuality with myself and my Beloved. I want to feel affection and loved and stable and supported. I’m currently speaking with several sex coaches and determining who will be the right fit for me. And once I do, I’ll commit to my sexuality by working with my sex coach. I’ve also started reading several books on sexuality and sex and have an ongoing jade egg practice. I intend to be committed in a long-term, loving relationship with my Beloved this year and committed to my own happiness and peace of mind.
I hope you have a beautiful, magical, easeful 2018 filled with happiness and do the things and have experiences that bring you joy and surround yourself with people who bring out your best.
Lots of Love,